Three Easy Steps to Create a Happier, Healthier Relationship With Money

By Demietra Williams

At some point in your journey, you’ve probably thought about the significant relationships that you have with other people. These connections might include those with friends, family, colleagues, clients, teachers or neighbors. Some of these relationships may add joy to your life, while others may be more tense. 

Have you considered your relationship with money?

Do you think of it as a resource that helps you achieve your goals? Or, do you find that it prevents you from moving forward? Does money show up when you need it? Or, is it a source of disappointment? 

No matter what your current financial situation is, you can take steps to create a happier relationship with money.

Step One – Your Money Type

First, let’s explore your current beliefs about money. 

In his book, “Happy Money,” Ken Honda suggests that we formed most of our current expectations about money in our childhood. During childhood, we observed how adults around us dealt with money. In broad terms, we learned that there was not enough, just enough or more than enough. Subconsciously, we accepted these assumptions to be true and carried them with us to adulthood.

Honda describes various money types and indicates that we can exhibit a combination of the traits. I’ve summarized Honda’s general categories and listed them below: 

  • The Compulsive Saver: This type loves to save money. They live to bargain hunt. They feel the most secure when funds are in their bank account. They consider luxurious items almost forbidden. They believe that being cautious is the only way to go. Oftentimes, they grew up in a household that didn’t have a lot of money.
  • Compulsive Spender: Spending is this type’s middle name. They’re fun to be around and love to give lavish gifts. They know how to enjoy the finer things in life. They tend to feel uncomfortable with saving. They may spend to get a sense of self-worth. In extreme cases, they may live paycheck to paycheck and could go bankrupt if their spending goes unchecked.
  • The Compulsive Moneymaker: The Moneymaker believes that they should make as much profits as possible. They strive get to the top of their career. They may sacrifice spending time with loved ones in order to achieve business or career success. They thrive off the recognition they get from their accomplishments.
  • The Indifferent to Money Type: This type rarely focuses on money. They tend to work in professions that serve other people. They often rely on their spouses or mates to manage the the finances and may be unsure of their own financial standing. They may have grown up in a financially stable household. As children, they weren’t concerned about money either way.

Throughout my twenties, I was the Compulsive Saver. Sure, I went out with friends, shopped for the basics, and bought frothy coffee drinks occasionally.  However, I spent money begrudgingly.  By the time I reached my thirties, I had grown tired of being stuck in the same ole money pattern. There were vacations I desired to take, trendy clothes I desired to wear, and assets I envisioned owning.  I did tons of research over the years.  Eventually, I learned to stop worrying about every dollar that I spent. I also learned to be more generous and grateful.  I started to treat money as a welcomed friend. I realized that money flows to where it’s appreciated. 

Step Two – The Money Date

I can almost guarantee you that a money date with yourself won’t be as thrilling as going out with a new romantic interest. Yet, you could approach it with the same willingness to try something new.

Here’s a list of things you can do on your money rendezvous:

  • Declutter: Clear and clean the area where you store your bills. Throw out old ones. Avoid stacks of paper and clutter. Organize your bills and keep them orderly. The goal is to keep the energy flowing. If you get most of your bills electronically, the same principles apply. Delete old bills or organize them into e-folders.
  • Use Your Words with Intention: Think of the words that you use when you talk about money. Do you say things like: “That costs too much” or “I can’t afford it” or “That’s for rich people?” Avoid using phrases that indicate you’re lacking something and embrace words that capture your aspirations.

One of the oldest tricks in the field law of attraction is to make statements in a way that already assumes that the statements are true. Instead of saying, “Hopefully I can afford a car next year” change it to, “I have a new car.”  For further info, you can read the book, “I’m Rich Beyond My Wildest Dreams” by Thomas L. Pauley and Penelope J. Pauley. They cover this topic in great detail.

  • Establish Goals: Define short-term, medium range and long-term goals. A goal could be to increase your emergency savings. Or you could decide to start trading stocks online. You could donate to an organization or cause that you believe in. Generosity also helps to increase flow. Include some fun here as well. Plan to splurge on yourself in way that you normally wouldn’t. 

Step Three – Create A Vision Board

I recently attended a vision board workshop led by La Shell Wooten, a magnanimous life coach and motivational speaker. Wooten explained that vision boards should represent your wildest dreams. If the images or words you chose for your board make you feel comfortable, Wooten said you should aim higher. She also suggested that the boards should speak to different sectors of life like health, passions, and your support system. In terms of your finances, you could display images that indicate you are debt-free and living in your dream house.

Invest in Our Relationships

Our relationships are like flowers. The more we nurture them, the more they can blossom. This applies to our relationship with people as well as our finances. Once we know our money origin story, we can use tools like money dates and visions boards to help us create more abundance in our lives.

**This article is for informational purposes only. It should not be considered financial or legal advice. Please consult a financial professional before making any major financial decisions. **

About the Author

Demietra founded and runs her own freelance writing business that specializes in content marketing, ghostwriting, and memoir writing. She loves to help small businesses and entrepreneurs build their brand. She also enjoys writing about personal finance and offering tools to help women achieve their highest financial goals. She lives in central New Jersey with her husband and daughter. You can visit her at newyorktechwriter.com or email her at newyorktechwriter@gmail.com.

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