Why Black Women Should Wind Down As The New Year Picks Up
By Simone Stancil
At the top of each New Year, there is undoubtedly an unrelenting societal pressure to hit the ground running and have life’s dilemmas figured out. The practice of New Year’s resolutions encourages us to make external changes and redefine our routines in the year ahead. Though a resolution is personal and can benefit one’s well-being, we often become rigid in our timelines to achieve them. When we falter, feelings of inadequacy and failure may arise.
“While goals are motivating to some, they also may paralyze others who feel overwhelmed by the resolution,” Harvard-trained clinical psychologist, Dr. Sabrina Romanoff, Psy.D., told Forbes. “Instead of motivating the person to achieve the goal, it may cause them to feel stuck in achieving them if too improbable.”
What Is Self-Renewal?
February recognizes self-renewal day as an opportunity to disconnect, rejuvenate and reflect, especially if feelings of burnout from the new year have been accumulating.
Dr. Veta Goler, Board Chair of the Center for Courage and Renewal (CCR) and former professor of dance history at Spelman College reaffirms why it’s important to prioritize slowing down to maintain integrative wellness.
“What I believe is that we all need to pause and reflect on what makes us come alive, what do we love to do?” Goler told Notedd. “For some people it’s dancing, for some people it’s making art, for some people it’s meditating, for some people it’s walking their dog.”
“It’s about self-care as a form of self-love, and I think it’s our responsibility to love ourselves,” she added. “I really think that’s the best thing we can do in the world.”
Radiating From The Inside Out
Goler has served as a Courage Facilitator at the Georgia-based CCR since 2007, where she incorporates contemplative practices like breathwork, poetry, drawing and more into some of the organizations’ programs, notably their Circle of Trust Retreats.
“The point of it is to go within and do the inner work, not just to escape, it’s to go within so that we know ourselves better so we can live more authentically when we go back out into the world,” Goler explains.
According to CCR, the Courage & Renewal approach is defined as “practices intended to create supportive communities of reflection and belonging that help people move towards personal and societal wholeness.”
As Black women, it could not be more imperative to tend to our mental health, which in turn enhances our physical well-being. This is particularly important while society consistently reinforces that we must carry the burdens of life with strength and grace.
“I’m channeling my inner Audre Lorde when I say that self-care is a form of political activism,” Goler said. “I believe that us [Black women] living as free individuals, it’s about energy. And it kind of helps to put chinks in the walls of oppression so it really makes a difference and helps to dismantle racism and sexism.”
How Self-Love And Spirituality Intersect
Emphasizing the importance of self-love and authenticity, she highlighted the resilience it brings against societal pressures of inadequacy. This emphasis on self-connection underscores the varied paths individuals may take in nurturing their well-being and embracing their intrinsic worth by connecting with their own divinity, a quality that Goler made sure to reinforce.
“I think self-care is a form of spirituality,” she shared. “I believe we are all spiritual beings having a human experience.”
“I also believe that we’re all pieces of source, the divine, whatever you wanna call ‘It’,” Goler added. By caring for ourselves, we’re both honoring our own divinity and we’re also connecting with it.”
"The more we can love ourselves and live authentically as who we are and value ourselves, the more we are able to rise above the messages that we get from our society that we’re not good enough, we’re not beautiful, we’re not smart," the former professor added. Ultimately, practicing self-care cannot be distinguished by one specific method. It is uniquely up to the individual to do whatever they can to connect to their own divinity, a quality that Goler made sure to reinforce.
Incorporating More Self-Love Into Our Lives
Cultivating a self-care routine can seem overwhelming at times, but here’s a hack – think of taking care of yourself as if you were taking care of someone else. Would you let someone else not create art? Would you let someone else not cook nourishing meals or move their bodies? The answer to these questions should be a resounding no, so the best we can do is honor the parts of ourselves that we might often neglect. Whether that be dancing our way through a tough day or making time to read that book we have yet to begin, self-love is the ultimate way to live life fully and freely and a great outlet to reclaim our vitality.
As renowned poet and social activist Alice Walker once said, “the most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.” So take the opportunity each day to show yourself the love you deserve and need!
